Kernel of sense

New York City: Judge Matthew Cooper has dismissed a suit for dental repairs by a moviegoer who said he broke his tooth on an unpopped kernel of popcorn at Manhattan’s AMC-Lincoln Square Cinema, ruling that plaintiff Steve Kaplan “could not reasonably expect every kernel to be popped”. (“N.Y. Judge: Broken-Tooth Popcorn Suit’s a Dud”, AP/1010 WINS, Sept. 29).

More: “Anyone who has ever made fresh popcorn … soon learns the bitter truth that the final product is almost always marred by the presence of unpopped, partially popped or burnt kernels,” wrote Judge Cooper. “Until such time as the same bio-engineers who brought us seedless watermelon are able to develop a new strain of popping corn where every kernel is guaranteed to pop, we will just have to accept partially popped popcorn as part and parcel of the popcorn popping process.” The judge suggested that the dentally risk-averse consumer stick to Raisinets or Milk Duds in future, although, he conceded, Milk Duds do have a reputation for pulling out your fillings. (NYLJ).

5 Comments

  • Clearly, this story is really about “Big Popcorn” and the power it has to influence our society! How could the judge ignore that fact that, with its ever present un-popped kernels, popcorn is an inherently unsafe produce and clearly defective. Add to those risks the high fat content of the butter-flavored topping and it is clear that this is the next haven of the anti-tobacco crusader.

    The only mistake here is that the lawyers sued the theater rather than the manufacturer. It is time for the AGs in this country to mount the same kind of offensive they did against the Tobacco manufacturers.

    Justice Must Be Server. (just not with such a delicious and tempting aroma)

  • This cannot be allowed to stand…For the children

  • Where is the outrage? Why has Chuck Schummer not called for an immediate investigation? Where’s Cuomo on this?

    I see the need for a multi-$B bailout.

  • I am part of a bulk-popping popcorn cartel. Our sales are predominantly to movie theaters where we sell our product in 1-cubic yard plastic bags.

    American popcorn has come too close to the ‘perfect pop’ (inside jargon). We are now required to import unpopped kernels from China, a certain percentage of which are mixed with the fully-popped American kernels through the use of proprietary machinery.

    This message is to serve notice that further suits seeking the removal of unpopped kernels will be met with countersuits under WTO authority for the attempt to place undue tariffs on Chinese unpopped kernels.

    Our use of Qatari petroleum in the production of ‘butter-flavored topping’ will also be defended on WTO grounds.

    And forget about Schumer… we’ve had him in the bag (so to speak) for years. He keeps tearing holes in the bottom of the bag, but that’s Schumer being Schumer, I guess.

  • Wait! Am I reading this right? A judge actually made a sensible decision on a damages case?

    I’m marking this on my calendar.

    (Yes, that’s sarcasm.)