It was all part of that thing called “growing up in America.” Like so many other social realities that the engineers seek to stamp out, bullying has an evolutionary root and some social utility. You aren’t going to get rid of “bullying” any more than you’re going to ged rid of flirting, dancing, smoking cigarettes, eating cheeseburgers and gossping.
Recognizing the bully can be a real challenge. Recently my kid’s school reacted to a sentinel event of alleged bullying and started some expensive anti-bullying program that will take up days of class time and cost 10’s of thousands. But the thing is most mistook who the bully was. There is the kid who does what the NBA players do; irritates his classmates until he draws a foul, then does the flop and whails until some teacher reacts. When no adult witnesses are present he spins tall tales of his woe, most stories however are relatively easily refutable by the very level of detail he relates. And everyone (almost) perceives him to be the victim. He has the entire administration and PTA tied in knots over his theatrics because most cannot see that it is he who is the bully. He is using the empowerment of the anti-bully crusaders to torment and punish those around him. The adults are the dupes using the manta of anti-bullying to effect his bullying. As soon as empowerment is made available to all, some will abuse that power to become the bully. And it will be a generation before the bully hysteria finally recognizes that bullying was not stamped out, but merely changed. Think daycare provider witchhunts of the 80’s all over again.
I was bullied as a kid. One day a family friend showed me the basics of boxing. After I gave a few bloody noses and black eyes, the bullying stopped.
The funny thing is that many of the people I gave those bloody noses and black eyes to are the same people that I go out and drink beer with now. Every once and a while we laugh our asses off about it.
Jim, your response was the correct one and it worked for me too, but we grew up in a different time. Unfortunately, in the name of zero tolerance fighting back will end up getting a student expelled these days. Heck, I’ve even heard of cases where a kid was assaulted and didn’t fight back and the school administrators knew it but expelled the victim anyway. That way they didn’t have to take responsibility for determining what happened and assigning blame for the incident. Just throw out anyone involved whether or not they are at fault. But that is what zero tolerance policies are for, avoiding responsibility for exercising common sense and good judgment.
“Human beings have evolved to fight”. Funny, I thought we evolved to think. Could someone trace this pattern for me?
” any more than you’re going to ged rid of flirting, dancing, smoking cigarettes…”
Anyone really think Western society is not going to get rid of smoking cigarettes?
That “stand up for yourself” idea works swell. Tell it to the 80 pound kid getting beat up by a couple of 130 pound bruisers. “Learn martial arts? What’s wrong with a kid who can’t become a black belt in a matter of weeks.
We choose to live in societies so biggest guy rules is not the rule. We try to learn and to teach not only tolerance, but good behavior.
Espousing such ideas as “We’ll never get rid of bullying” is tacit acceptance of bullying. It’s like shrugging shoulders and saying ‘Eh, date rape happens. What’re you gonna do?’
That’s what you’ll get if you don’t so anything about it. And not from a pair of narcissistic little scrotes either, but normal kids who snap.
You do realize that Columbine was perpetrated by bullies, not by kids who were being bullied, right? Harris and Kiebold were the bullies – not the victims of bullying.
Wow, just…wow. I wonder what Mystal thinks about sexual assault? It’s always going to be with us so chicks should just get tough and stop being such crybabies?
I mean, that article is like the ultimate parody of Republican thinking; survival of the fittest, kill or be killed, might makes right and mightiest is rightiest.
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Good points.
I was bullied, and I bullied.
It was all part of that thing called “growing up in America.” Like so many other social realities that the engineers seek to stamp out, bullying has an evolutionary root and some social utility. You aren’t going to get rid of “bullying” any more than you’re going to ged rid of flirting, dancing, smoking cigarettes, eating cheeseburgers and gossping.
Recognizing the bully can be a real challenge. Recently my kid’s school reacted to a sentinel event of alleged bullying and started some expensive anti-bullying program that will take up days of class time and cost 10’s of thousands.
But the thing is most mistook who the bully was. There is the kid who does what the NBA players do; irritates his classmates until he draws a foul, then does the flop and whails until some teacher reacts. When no adult witnesses are present he spins tall tales of his woe, most stories however are relatively easily refutable by the very level of detail he relates.
And everyone (almost) perceives him to be the victim. He has the entire administration and PTA tied in knots over his theatrics because most cannot see that it is he who is the bully. He is using the empowerment of the anti-bully crusaders to torment and punish those around him. The adults are the dupes using the manta of anti-bullying to effect his bullying.
As soon as empowerment is made available to all, some will abuse that power to become the bully. And it will be a generation before the bully hysteria finally recognizes that bullying was not stamped out, but merely changed. Think daycare provider witchhunts of the 80’s all over again.
I was bullied as a kid. One day a family friend showed me the basics of boxing. After I gave a few bloody noses and black eyes, the bullying stopped.
The funny thing is that many of the people I gave those bloody noses and black eyes to are the same people that I go out and drink beer with now. Every once and a while we laugh our asses off about it.
Human beings have evolved to fight. Any effort to eliminate that, only shifts the fighting to another venue.
Jim, your response was the correct one and it worked for me too, but we grew up in a different time. Unfortunately, in the name of zero tolerance fighting back will end up getting a student expelled these days. Heck, I’ve even heard of cases where a kid was assaulted and didn’t fight back and the school administrators knew it but expelled the victim anyway. That way they didn’t have to take responsibility for determining what happened and assigning blame for the incident. Just throw out anyone involved whether or not they are at fault. But that is what zero tolerance policies are for, avoiding responsibility for exercising common sense and good judgment.
Columbine.
That’s what you’ll get if you don’t so anything about it. And not from a pair of narcissistic little scrotes either, but normal kids who snap.
But before then, you’ll get the bullies using firearms, to execute their victims by 2 shots in the back of the head, as happened to Larry King.
“Human beings have evolved to fight”. Funny, I thought we evolved to think. Could someone trace this pattern for me?
” any more than you’re going to ged rid of flirting, dancing, smoking cigarettes…”
Anyone really think Western society is not going to get rid of smoking cigarettes?
That “stand up for yourself” idea works swell. Tell it to the 80 pound kid getting beat up by a couple of 130 pound bruisers. “Learn martial arts? What’s wrong with a kid who can’t become a black belt in a matter of weeks.
We choose to live in societies so biggest guy rules is not the rule. We try to learn and to teach not only tolerance, but good behavior.
Espousing such ideas as “We’ll never get rid of bullying” is tacit acceptance of bullying. It’s like shrugging shoulders and saying ‘Eh, date rape happens. What’re you gonna do?’
“We’ll never get rid of bullying” is tacit acceptance of bullying.”
No, it is more like we will never get rid of cancer the way we did with smallpox, but we can still many times control it and stop it.
Columbine.
That’s what you’ll get if you don’t so anything about it. And not from a pair of narcissistic little scrotes either, but normal kids who snap.
You do realize that Columbine was perpetrated by bullies, not by kids who were being bullied, right? Harris and Kiebold were the bullies – not the victims of bullying.
@ the OP article:
Wow, just…wow. I wonder what Mystal thinks about sexual assault? It’s always going to be with us so chicks should just get tough and stop being such crybabies?
I mean, that article is like the ultimate parody of Republican thinking; survival of the fittest, kill or be killed, might makes right and mightiest is rightiest.