• Thanks to guestbloggers Victoria Pynchon (of Negotiation Law Blog) and Jason Barney for lending a hand last week;
• Will the U.S. government need to sponsor its own motorcycle gang in order to hold on to trademark confiscated from “Mongols” group? [WSJ law blog]
• With a little help for its friends: Florida Supreme Court strikes down legislated limits on fees charged by workers’ comp attorneys [St. Petersburg Times, Insurance Journal]
• Stripper, 44, files age discrimination complaint after losing job at Ontario club [YorkRegion.com, Blazing Cat Fur via Blog of Walker] The stripper age bias complaint we covered eight years ago was also from Ontario;
• Federal judge green-lights First Amendment suit by college instructor who says he was discriminated against for conservative political beliefs [NYLJ] (link fixed now)
• Judge orders parties to settle dispute over noisy parrots after it reaches £45,700 in legal costs [Telegraph]
• How to make sure you’re turned down when applying for admittance to the bar [Ambrogi, Massachusetts]
• Questions at depositions can be intended to humiliate and embarrass, not just extract relevant information [John Bratt, Baltimore Injury Lawyer via Miller]

The exotic dancer’s shoe flew off during her pole dance, according to Charles Privette, who says he was hit both by the shoe itself and by glass from a broken mirror at the Booby Trap in Pompano Beach, Fla. The club’s manager quoted a paramedic: “I can’t believe you even called us for this!” (Fort Mill Times, Sun-Sentinel, Obscure Store, TortsProf). The title refers to an accident case from 1928, familiar to all law students, in which a chain of unlikely events led to a woman’s injury on a train platform.

More things it would be better to avoid doing if you’re a lawyer:

• Claim to be assetless and thus unable to make restitution for the largest theft of state money in Massachusetts history even though you live in a $1.5 million Florida house with a $70K BMW and other goodies [Boston Herald, Globe, disbarred attorney Richard Arrighi]
• Botch appeals and then refrain from telling clients their cases have been lost [Clifford Van Syoc, reprimanded by New Jersey high court; NJLJ; seven years ago]
• Attempt to deduct “more than $300,000 in prostitutes, p0rn, sex toys and erotic massages” on your income tax returns, even if you are “thought of as a good tax lawyer” [NY Post] Nor ought you to accept nude dances from a client as partial payment for legal fees [Chicago Tribune; for an unrelated tale of a purportedly consensual lap dance given by secretary to partner, see NYLJ back in April]
• Introduce a patent application purportedly signed in part by someone who in fact had been dead for a year or two [Law.com/The Recorder, Chicago's Niro, Scavone, Haller & Niro, of blog-stalking fame, client's patent declared unenforceable] Or pursue a patent-infringement case based on what a federal judge later ruled to be a “tissue of lies” [NYLJ; New York law firm Abelman, Frayne & Schwab and lawyer David Jaroslawicz, ordered to pay opponents' legal fees; earlier mentions of Jaroslawicz at this site here, here, here, and here]
• Demand ransom for a stolen Leonardo da Vinci painting [biggest U.K. art theft ever, all defendants have pleaded not guilty, LegalWeek via ABA Journal]

Really, we couldn’t make it up: after raiding the Hot Lap Dance Club on W. 38th St. in Manhattan as a front for prostitution, police arrested lawyer Louis Posner and 22 others as part of the enterprise, which allegedly skimmed earnings from girls who entertained customers in private rooms for fees as high as $5,000. “Posner, once known as the king of nuisance lawsuits, brought a landmark $16 million suit against his then-4-year-old son’s nursery school in 1992 for letting the child run out of his classroom.” (New York Daily News first, second, third, fourth story). Posner, who more recently has concentrated on such areas of practice as taxes, trusts and estates, is reviled by several sources in the New York Daily News’s coverage for hitting on the girls himself, to their frequent disgust. Incomparable detail: cops claim Posner funneled the brothel profits through a political activist group called Voter March, which he set up after the disputed Bush-Gore election in 2000. (ABA Journal, New York Times). Fair labor practices angle: “The pair [of interviewed dancers] estimated that 120 women worked there. Some were Americans who operated as independent contractors and paid $80 a night in ‘house fees;’ others were Russians who worked to pay off debts to their handlers.” And we can’t leave this out: “The club last made news in March when it was sued by a securities trader who claimed he was seriously injured when a lap-dancing stripper swiveled and slammed him in the face with her shoe.” More: Above the Law, New York Observer.

Whatever happened to the old ginger-ale “champagne” ruse? “A woman contends that her job as a stripper caused her to have a one-car wreck on her way home from work last year, according to a lawsuit filed in Jefferson County Circuit Court. Patsy Hamaker’s suit says part of her job as a dancer at The Furnace club in Birmingham involved encouraging customers to buy her alcoholic drinks.” (Eric Velasco, “Stripper’s suit in Jefferson County court says her job led to wreck, injuries”, Birmingham News, May 27).

• Speaking of patients who act against medical advice and sue anyway: doctor who advised against home birth is cleared by Ohio jury in $13 million suit [Plain Dealer and earlier via KevinMD]
• UK: “A feud over a 4ft-wide strip of land has seen neighbours rack up £300,000 in lawyers’ bills, and left one family effectively homeless.” [Telegraph]
• Last of the Scruggs judicial bribery defendants without a plea deal, Dickie’s son Zack, takes one [Folo]
• By reader acclaim: securities trader sues over injury from lap dancer’s attentions [AP/NY Sun]
• Amid the talk of FISA and retroactive telecom immunity, it would be nice to hear more about the actual lawsuits [Obbie]
• Australian worker loses suit over firing despite a doctor’s note vouching that stress of worrying about upcoming football game made it medically necessary for him to take day off to go see it [Stumblng Tumblr]
• Megan McArdle and Tyler Cowen toss around the question of federal FDA pre-emption of drug liability suits, as raised by Medtronic;
• Should Coughlin Stoia have bought those stolen Coke documents? For one lawprof, question’s a real head-scratcher [David McGowan (San Diego), Legal Ethics Forum] And WSJ news side is oddly unskeptical of trial lawyers’ line that the affair just proves their power to go on fishing expeditions should never have been curtailed [Jones/Slater]
• Dashboard-cam caught Tennessee cops red-handed planting marijuana on suspect, or so Jonathan Turley suggests — but could it be a little more complicated than that? [WSMV, AP/WATE] (& Greenfield)
• “Heck Baptists don’t even sue you for disagreeing with them,” though no doubt there are exceptions [Instapundit; NYT on Danish cartoons; Ezra Levant with more on those Canadian speech tribunals]
• Bestselling authors who sue their critics [four years ago on Overlawyered]

• Despite seeming majority support in both houses, conference committee on the Hill drops protection against lawsuits for “John Does” who report suspicious security behavior to authorities [PowerLine, Malkin; see May 11, etc.]


• U.K. town advises holders of allotment gardens: you could be liable if trespasser gets hurt vandalizing your trellises [Gloucestershire Echo; Cheltenham, Prestbury, etc.]


• School groundskeeper fired for illiteracy sues under ADA; suit’s future may depend on whether he can allege underlying predisposition such as dyslexia [St. Louis Post-Dispatch, StLRecruiting]


• Large Pakistan bank should pay for my husband’s murder, says Mariane Pearl in lawsuit [NYSun]


• Tell it to the EEOC, bud: Pennsylvania survey of law firm “diversity” finds plaintiff’s firms lag well behind their business/defense counterparts when it comes to hiring minorities [Legal Intelligencer first and second pieces]


• Spare a tear for Gov. Spitzer, never realized public life would be such a rough and tumble affair [Kirkendall]


• Trail of bogus auto accidents and “runners” leads to West Orange, N.J. lawyer and his law firm, say prosecutors [NJLJ; related New Jersey report on insurance fraud, PDF]


• I’m interviewed re: the Giuliani announcement [Paul Mirengoff @ PowerLine] and publicity in National Journal is nice too [Blog-O-Meter]


• Two Australian grave owners sue for damages over loss of feng shui [Melbourne Age]


• You have to let me use your bathroom, I’ve got a note from my doctor [Robert Guest on Texas legislation]


• New at Point of Law: University of Alberta lawprof Moin Yahya is guestblogging this week on Conrad Black trial, extraterritoriality, antitrust, etc.


• Quadriplegic sues Florida strip club under ADA because its lap dance room not wheelchair accessible [five years ago on Overlawyered]

• “[W]e can’t develop good drugs … if after the fact somebody comes in and makes a false claim of credit.” Genentech beats Niro firm (Jul. 21) in billion-dollar patent case. [Legal Intelligencer]
• Excellent new blog on science evidence issues. [Science Evidence; Point of Law]
• Easterbrook: mandating software be free is not “price fixing” injurious to consumers. Duh. [Seventh Circuit via Bashman; see also Heidi Bond via Baude]
• Missouri high court upholds reform law barring some types of dramshop liability against equal protection challenge. [Snodgras v. Huck's; AP/Columbia Daily Tribune]
• Insurance company profits: the complete story. [Grace]
• I address Hyman & Silver’s latest paper on medical malpractice. [Point of Law]
• Seattle cop spends $10,000 of taxpayer money on lap dances in unsuccessful officially-authorized quest for prostitution violations. [Seattle Times]
• Peter Lattman discovers Willie Gary’s website. Overlawyered readers were there two years ago. Gary himself is being hoisted by a litigation and advertising petard. [WSJ Law Blog; Fulton County Daily Report]
• Andy Griffith sues Andy Griffith for use of Andy Griffith name. [AP/CNN]
• The $2.1 million deposition. [Above the Law; Kirkendall; New York Times]
• Scalia and Man at Yale. [Above the Law; Yale Daily News; Krishnamurthy via Bashman]
• Wallison: Deregulation works. [AEI]
• Must-read: An agenda for the Bush White House in the Democratic 110th Congress. [Frum @ WSJ @ AEI]
• Clegg: Learn from the Michigan Civil Rights Initiative. [NRO]
• Krauthammer points out that both parties have moved right this election. [WaPo]
• Will: “About $2.6 billion was spent on the 468 House and Senate races. (Scandalized? Don’t be. Americans spend that much on chocolate every two months.)” [WaPo]
• At least we’re not Iran: sex video has criminal consequences there. [Daily Mail]

The exotic dancers’ lawsuit against Anchorage strip clubs Fantasies on 5th Avenue and Crazy Horse cites the Alaska Wage and Hour Act and seeks class-action status. Key quote: “This isn’t about how much money I make in tips,” said dancer Jennifer Prater. “This is about wage and hour laws.” A 1987 Alaska Supreme Court ruling rejected clubs’ contention that the dancers were independent contractors as opposed to employees. (Megan Holland, Anchorage Daily News, Sept. 6).

Once again the application of class action procedure to the world of exotic dancing is raising privacy issues not encountered in your ordinary everyday class action. In recent Texas litigation (see May 3), the concern is the sending of notices in the mail to past lap-dance customers informing them of their rights to recovery over alleged fee overcharges (which notices will in some cases be opened by their outraged spouses and significant others). And now in a San Francisco wage-and-hour class action, former managers of one club are arguing that many of the exotic dancers themselves don’t want their real names known and face potentially harmful intrusions into their privacy under any notification plan likely to be effective (”Dear Former Exotic Dancer…”). A lawyer pressing the class action, which concerns alleged misclassification of the dancers as independent contractors, dismisses the management argument as merely tactical. (Pam Smith, “Privacy Worries Don’t Shake Up Stripper Class Action”, The Recorder, Jun. 14).

An appeals court in Houston has ruled that two men can proceed with their intended class-action lawsuit against six strip clubs for having added a $5 fee to the price of a lap dance when paid for with a credit card, a practice they say violates Texas law. As has been previously noted (see Sept. 10, 2003), the fun is likely to begin if and when standard notices go into the mail informing past lap dance customers that a lawsuit has gone forward in their name; many of these notifications are likely to be opened by wives and other family members in the class member’s absence. (Roma Khanna, “Panel says men can sue strip clubs over extra fees”, Houston Chronicle, Apr. 23)(via The Slithery D). More: Wave Maker (May 5) wonders whether it might not be divorce lawyers, rather than class action lawyers, behind the scheme.

“A stripper mauled by a tiger in an Ontario safari park has won $650,000 in damages because her scars meant she could no longer work, Canadian media said on Friday.” Jennifer-Anne Cowles was awarded “some $650,000 in damages, almost half of it to compensate for income she would have made as a stripper. Her musician boyfriend, David Balac, won Canadian $1.7 million ($1.37 million), because his injuries left him unable to work as an accordion player.” (Reuters/CNN, Jan. 31). James Taranto at WSJ “Best of the Web” comments (Jan. 31): “Canada has some surprising priorities if an accordion player is worth twice as much as a stripper.” (& letter to the editor Feb. 13).

Houston attorney David George has filed intended class-action lawsuits on behalf of local resident Paul Brian Meekey against three strip clubs, claiming the clubs violated Texas law by adding a $5 credit card surcharge to the $20 price of a lap dance. The suit demands a refund of all such charges paid over the past four years, plus attorney’s fees. According to attorney George, state law flatly forbids merchants from imposing surcharges on credit card transactions, even, presumably, in cases where those transactions are costly for merchants to provide because of a high later dispute rate. “Another lawyer tried filing similar cases in 1999 but abandoned them, in part out of fear that clients would only be angry when they received notice at home about refunds.” (Mary Flood, “Seeking a redress of lap-dance surcharges”, Houston Chronicle, Aug. 31). (Update May 3, 2005: appeals court lets suits proceed).

In other news, Register.com has settled a class action over its supposedly deceptive former practice of initially pointing newly registered domain names to a “Coming Soon” Page which included advertising. Class members will get a $5-off coupon toward future Register.com services, named plaintiff Michael Zurakov will get $12,500, and the lawyers will ask for up to $642,500. Thanks, lawyers! (settlement notice; Ed Foster, The Gripe Line, InfoWorld, Aug. 27; Slashdot thread). And Nestle’s Poland Spring bottled water subsidiary “has negotiated a proposed settlement for a class-action lawsuit alleging that the company’s bottled water does not come from a spring and is not completely safe. … The settlement calls for Poland Spring to offer discounts or free water worth $8,050,000 over the next five years, contribute $2.75 million to charities during the same period and step up its monitoring of water quality. It also would pay the two lawyers involved in that case $1.35 million.” The deal is drawing peals of outrage from lawyers pushing ten similar class actions who are upset that the class was not properly represented — being angry about the possibility of being cut out without fees has absolutely nothing to do with it. “Each of the lawsuits contends that Poland Spring’s water is not actually natural spring water because it is drawn from wells.” (Edward D. Murphy, “Poland Spring makes deal on lawsuit”, Portland Press-Herald, Sept. 3; notice of settlement (PDF)). Update Jun. 25: how much did consumers actually get? Darned if one columnist can find out.

“‘Father files suit after son fails to make MVP award’” (hockey, New Brunswick), Nov. 8-10, 2002.

“‘Sorry, Slimbo, you’re in my seats’“, June 7, 2001 (& updates Dec. 15-16, 2001, Oct. 25-27, 2002); “Obese fliers“, Dec. 20, 2000; “Welcome Toronto Star readers” (Jason Brooks column, disabled rights), Sept. 27-28, 2000. 

Personal responsibility, 2002: “Skating first, instructions later” (Edmonton), Sept. 25-26; “‘Woman freezes; sues city, cabbie’” (Winnipeg), Sept. 18-19; Personal responsibility roundup” (social host alcohol liability), Sept. 12; “Paroled prisoner: pay for not supervising me“, Jan. 4-6.  2001: “Don’t rock the Coke machine“, July 20-22; “‘Gambling addiction’ class action” (Loto-Quebec), June 20 (& update May 20-21, 2002; “‘Woman who drove drunk gets $300,000′” (Barrie, Ont.), Feb. 7-8; “By reader acclaim” (sues alleged crack dealers over own addiction), Jan. 11.  2000: “Not my fault, I” (woman who murdered daughter sues psychiatrists), May 17; “Blue-ribbon excuse syndromes” (Metis Indian defendant allowed to cite cultural oppression as defense to stabbing charge), Feb. 12-13. 

“Cash demanded for drug users and panhandlers inconvenienced by film crews” (Vancouver), Aug. 23-25, 2002. 

“Activist judges north of the border“, May 31-Jun. 2, 2002 (& letter to the editor, Jun. 14). 

“Flowers, perfume in airline cabins not OK?“, May 17-19, 2002; “Scented hair gel, deodorant could mean jail time for Canadian youth“, Apr. 24, 2000. 

“‘Unharmed woman awarded $104,000′” (Manitoba chemical exposure), May 6, 2002. 

“‘Targeting “big food”‘” (Lemieux, National Post), Apr. 29-30, 2002. 

“Pharmaceutical roundup” (silicone implants popular), Apr. 16-17, 2002. 

“Web speech roundup” (flag logo on website), Mar. 25-26, 2002. 

“Tribulations of the light prison sleeper“, Mar. 25-26, 2002; “Prison litigation: ‘Kittens and Rainbows Suites’” (cellmate’s smoking violates rights), Jan. 11-13; “Paroled prisoner: pay for not supervising me“, Jan. 4-6, 2002. 

“Couldn’t order 7-Up in French” (suing Air Canada for $525,000), Mar. 18, 2002; “Gotta regulate ‘em all” (Quebec official upset that Pok?n cards not in French), Dec. 16, 1999. 

“Stop, they said” (Manitoba: stop sign too vague?), Feb. 4-5, 2002. 

“Planners tie up land for twenty years” (plus B.C. land use story), Jan. 18-20, 2002. 

Family law, 2002: “‘Avoiding court is best defence’” (Dave Brown), Jan. 14-15.  2001: “‘Crying wolf’” (Christie Blatchford on sexual abuse charges), Oct. 30; “Why she’s quitting law practice” (Karen Selick), Aug. 13-14; “Canadian court: divorce settlements never final“, May 15; “‘Victim is sued for support’“, Feb. 9-11; “Solomon’s child” (Donna LaFramboise), Jan. 26-28.  2000: “Pilloried, broke, alone” (LaFramboise on “deadbeat dads”), April 10.  1999: “Down repressed-memory lane: distracted when she signed” (Ont. judge voids separation agreement), Dec. 29-30. 

“Front-row spectator sues ‘reckless’ exotic dancer” (B.C.), Jan. 7-8, 2002; “Embarrassing Lawsuit Hall of Fame” (injured by exotic dancer in Ottawa), Aug. 14, 2000; “‘Toronto Torch’ age-bias suit” (stripper in Brantford), May 23, 2000. 

“Overlawyered schools roundup” (challenge to Ontario standards), Dec. 7-9, 2001. 

“Columnist-fest” (asylum policies), Nov. 27, 2001; “Opponents of profiling, still in the driver’s seat” (Air Canada), Nov. 2-4; “Security holes: to the North…” (anti-terrorism security), Sept. 14-16, 2001. 

“‘Hate speech’ law invoked against anti-American diatribe“, Oct. 17-18, 2001; “Most unsettling thing we’ve heard about Canada in a while” (hate speech laws), Dec. 17-19, 1999. 

“‘Hama to sue bridge owners over her daughter’s fall’” (Capilano Suspension Bridge, Vancouver), Oct. 8, 2001. 

“Fear of losing welfare benefits deemed coercive” (N.S.), Oct. 3-4, 2001. 

Zero tolerance, etc.: “John Leo on Overlawyered.com” (Halifax: snowball-like gestures banned), Aug. 15, 2001; “Fateful fiction” (Cornwall, Ont.), Jan. 30, 2001; “Hug protest in Halifax” (school’s no-physical-contact policy), March 2, 2000; “Zero tolerance roundup” (Windsor: 11-year-old’s fictional school essay), Dec. 27-28, 1999. 

“Why she’s quitting law practice” (Karen Selick), Aug. 13-14, 2001. 

“Welcome Bourque.org readers“, June 26, 2001. 

“‘Dead teen’s family sues Take Our Kids To Work’“, May 31, 2001. 

“Holiday special” (misconduct by N.B. lawyer), May 28, 2001. 

“‘Insect lawyer ad creates buzz’” (Torys, Toronto), May 23, 2001; “‘Not-a-Lawyer’” (Vancouverite’s business card), Feb. 10-11, 2000. 

“Columnist-fest” (Mark Steyn on Indian residential schools), May 1, 2001; “Bankrupting Canadian churches?“, Aug. 23-24, 2000. 

“Canada’s secret legal aid“, April 10, 2001. 

“Putting the ’special’ in special sauce” (alleged rat in Big Mac”, March 29, 2001. 

“Saves her friend’s life, then sues her“, Jan. 3, 2001. 

“Canada reins in expert witnesses“, Nov. 22-23, 2000. 

“Malpractice outlays on rise in Canada“, Oct. 2, 2000. 

“‘Mother sues over lack of ice time for goalie son’” (Quebec), Sept. 11, 2000. 

“‘Mugging victim “stupid”, judge says’” (Winnipeg case), Aug. 2, 2000. 

“‘Skydivers don’t sue’“, May 26, 2000 (update July 6: Canadian diver prevails in suit against teammate). 

“Cash for trash, and worse” (”Vancouver solution” for Microsoft?), June 26, 2000. 

“Welcome Montreal Gazette readers” (columnist Doug Camilli cites this website), June 7, 2000; “Trop d’avocats.com” (we are recommended by the Gazette), Oct. 18, 1999. 

“‘More lawyers than we really need?’” (aftermath of Walkerton, Ont. E. Coli outbreak: columnist cites this website), June 2-4, 2000. 

“Less suing = less suffering” (Sasketchewan no-fault auto study), April 24, 2000 (& update June 26). 

“Swissair crash aftermath” (Peggy’s Cove disaster in U.S. courts), March 14, 2000; “Montreal Gazette ‘Lawsuit of the Year’” (bagpipers sue Swissair for lost income), Jan. 17, 2000. 

“‘Girl puts head under guillotine; sues when hurt’“, March 8, 2000. 

“Ontario judge okays hockey-fan lawsuit“, Jan. 12, 2000; “Spreading to Canada?” (hockey fan sues Alexei Yashin), Oct. 20, 1999. 

“Update: toilet of terror” (Canadian tourist visits Starbucks in NYC, sues), Dec. 8, 1999; “Starbucks toilet lawsuit“, Dec. 1, 1999. 

“Mounties vs. your dish” (satellite regulations), Nov. 1, 1999. 

“Sensitivity in cow-naming“, Oct. 21, 1999; “Weekend reading” (Bugs Bunny television complaint), Aug. 21-22, 1999. “You may already not be a winner” (prisoner suit over sweepstakes entry), Aug. 23, 1999.

For a discussion of the loser-pays principle, which Canada has retained to a considerable extent in its courts, see our loser-pays page

July 19-21 – Disabled lap dancing just the start. Our recent item (Jul. 16-17) on demands for accessibility in lap-dancing facilities reminded an alert Australian reader of a recent case from his country in which a disabled complainant filed charges against the proprietors of a “swinging house party”, which was found in unrelated proceedings to be operating as an unlicensed brothel, for excluding her because of her status as a wheelchair user. (Ball v Morgan & Anor [2001] FMCA 127)(adult content warning, though it’s a court opinion). (DURABLE LINK)

July 19-21 – Stolen silence? Via WSJ OpinionJournal Best of the Web Today: “The London Sun reports that Nicholas Riddle, who heads a firm that owns the copyright to the late John Cage’s composition ‘4′ 33″ ‘–which consists of four minutes, 33 seconds of silence–is suing ‘pop guru’ Mike Batt, whose new band, the Plantes, has just released an album with a track called ‘A One Minute Silence.’ Riddle alleges that Batt violated Cage’s copyright. ‘John always said the duration of his piece may be changed, so the Planets’ piece doesn’t escape by virtue of its shorter length,’ Riddle tells the paper. ‘We want our royalties.’” Oh please, let this be a Monty Python skit and not an actual lawsuit (Thomas Whitaker, “Silence is old ‘un”, The Sun (London), Jul. 18). (DURABLE LINK)

July 19-21 – Enron’s other helpers. If Arthur Andersen & Co. is going to get run out of business for approving Enron’s dubious financial deals, why is its outside law firm, Vinson & Elkins, unlikely to face similarly devastating consequences for approving and helping structure the same deals? Well, one reason is that accountants are conceived of as having broad obligations to the general public, while lawyers mostly aren’t. Rather convenient for the lawyers, don’t you think? Julie Hilden makes a valiant effort to defend the double standard as a principled one (”Scummery Judgment”, Slate, Jun. 21). (& see letter to the editor, Oct. 23) (DURABLE LINK)

July 18 – “Family of boy injured by leopard may sue”. “In April, Eric River, 11, sneaked into the Rosamond Gifford Zoo at Burnet Park with friends, tried to feed and pet a snow leopard, got 10 deep lashes to his face, arm and back, and received 500 stitches. Now, three months later, his mother, Terry Wells, is threatening to sue the zoo’s owner, Onondaga County, for failing to properly secure and police the zoo after hours.” River and three friends managed to get into the zoo by scaling one 8-foot fence, squeezing through a gap in another, and scaling a 4-foot fence before finally approaching the leopard in its cage. (Teri Weaver, Syracuse Post-Standard, Jul. 17) (see Sept. 21, 1999). (DURABLE LINK)

July 18 – “Trauma center reopens doors”. The only trauma center in southern Nevada has reopened, “ten days after a state malpractice insurance crisis forced its closure”. (Las Vegas Review-Journal, Jul. 14; Joelle Babula, “University Medical Center: Trauma center closing”, Las Vegas Review-Journal, Jul. 2; Steve Kanigher, “Trauma cases to shift to nearest hospital”, Las Vegas Sun, Jul. 2; William Booth, “Las Vegas Trauma Center Closes as Doctors Quit”, Washington Post, Jul. 4; Las Vegas Review-Journal, coverage at a glance). Crisis continues in Mississippi: Reed Branson, “Doctors shutting practices amid epidemic of lawsuits”, GoMemphis.com, Jul. 11; John Porretto, “Exodus of doctors causing crisis for moms-to-be in Mississippi”, AP, Jul. 11. Texas: Mary Ann Roser, “Doctors at a crossroads”, Austin American-Statesman, Jun. 17. (DURABLE LINK)

July 18 – “Edwards’ fund raising a strong suit”. Why are we not surprised that he’s vaulted ahead of some better-known Democrats on the money-raising front? “Reports released Monday show that two fund-raising committees controlled by Edwards raised a combined $2.6 million in the second quarter of this year and that the North Carolina Democrat now has more than $4.4 million in the bank. … A News & Observer analysis of Edwards’ PAC money showed that more than 77 percent of it came from lawyers or law firms.” (John Wagner, Raleigh News & Observer, Jul. 16). All five of the top contributors to the Edwards campaign are plaintiff’s law firms, the list topped by Girardi & Keese of Los Angeles and Baron & Budd of Dallas, both familiar to longtime readers of this site. (David Brown, “The Candidate”, The Recorder, Jun. 14). (DURABLE LINK)

July 16-17 – By reader acclaim: quadriplegic sues strip club over wheelchair access. Edward Law of Orlando, Fla., who is quadriplegic, “has sued a strip club, charging that it violates the Americans with Disabilities Act because the lap dance room does not have wheelchair access.” In addition to suing the Wildside Adult Sports Cabaret of West Palm Beach, Law has also recently sued a second strip clup, “an Orlando restaurant and a Daytona Beach Harley-Davidson motorcycle shop”; we don’t know yet whether to assign his filing activities to this category. (”Orlando quadriplegic sues strip club over wheelchair access”, AP/Palm Beach Post, Jul. 15)(for more on lap-dance handicap accommodation, see Sept. 27-28, 2000). (DURABLE LINK)

July 16-17 – Mercury in dental fillings. For well over a century dentists have used a mixture of metals including mercury in standard tooth fillings, and both the U.S. Public Health Service and Consumers Union have declared that patients have no grounds for alarm that the fillings pose a risk to health. That hasn’t convinced a small if longstanding body of dissenters who hold that exposure to even trace amounts of the heavy metal must be having toxic effects on users’ bodies. The dispute has lately turned litigious, with Van Nuys, Calif. personal injury and environmental attorney Shawn Khorrami spearheading several suits which accuse the American Dental Association and dentists of wrongly promoting the material, and the ADA striking back with a defamation suit. (Doug Bandow, “Killer teeth?”, Cato Institute Dailies, Jun. 28; Raymond J. Keating, “Lawsuits and Legislation Causing Pain for Dentists”, Small Business Survival Committee, Jun. 7; AltCorp (anti-mercury testing firm); Stephen Barrett, “The Mercury Amalgam Scam”, QuackWatch.com, last revised Apr. 23; search QuackWatch on “amalgam”; American Dental Association on ADA v. Khorrami). (DURABLE LINK)

July 16-17 – Hizzoner’s divorce, settled at last. “Anyone who’s been appalled at the depths to which the parties stooped in this Hanover/Giuliani split just hasn’t been divorced from a millionaire often enough. As big splashy divorces go, this was no uglier than most.” (Dahlia Lithwick, “Hats Off to Rudy”, Slate, Jul. 12). (DURABLE LINK)

July 16-17 – “Spanking Client Not Legitimate Trial Prep Tactic”. Just plain bizarre: U.S. District Judge Robert N. Chatigny has ruled that an attorney’s malpractice insurer is not obliged to pay out in a case in which Derby, Ct. attorney Milo J. Altschuler allegedly took a client across his lap and spanked her before a court appearance. “The woman claimed Altschuler, before removing her panties and stockings, told her he needed to spank her so the judge didn’t think she was lying.” Judge Chatigny ruled that the spanking did not constitute the rendering of professional services, although Altschuler “acknowledged that he used [threats of spanking] in representing more than a dozen other clients to make them ‘more afraid of him than they would be of the prosecutor.’” (Scott Brede, Connecticut Law Tribune, Jul. 15). (DURABLE LINK)

July 15 – “Morales’ $1 Million Tobacco Fee Under Fire”. “Former Attorney General Dan Morales told lawyers that a $1 million contribution to his political campaign fund was a condition for joining his anti-tobacco legal team, a Houston lawyer testified in a newly released document.” In a 1999 interview that has only now been made public in court proceedings, an assistant to Texas Attorney General John Cornyn questioned Houston attorney Wayne Fisher, a former president of the State Bar and a former president of the Texas Trial Lawyers Association, under oath. Fisher “said Morales outlined two separate requirements during a meeting he had with the then-attorney general in 1995. Fisher said one condition of employment was to ‘front’ the legal expenses and a second was to ‘commit to contribute $1 million to (Morales’) political campaign — to (Morales’) political campaign fund, as I recall it.’” Fisher “chose not to join Morales’ legal team”; he also “recalled wondering later if the meeting was a ’sting operation.’” Fisher’s account seems to buttress earlier recollections by noted plaintiff’s attorney Joe Jamail, who also did not join the state’s team (see Sept. 1-3, 2000, May 22, 2000, June 21, 2001, Aug. 29-30, 2001, Nov. 12, 2001).

The five law firms eventually hired by Morales are all “major contributors to Democratic candidates and causes”. Michael Tigar, attorney for the five, denies that any of their tobacco fees or expenses went to Morales but concedes that “some was paid to Austin political consultant George Shipley. Tigar said all the payments to Shipley were first reviewed by University of Texas law professor Charles Silver, who was retained by the lawyers as an ethics adviser.” (Clay Robison, Houston Chronicle, Jul. 12). (DURABLE LINK)

July 15 – Paper currency should accommodate blind, suit argues. “The American Council of the Blind, which seeks to improve conditions for the visually impaired, has sued the Treasury Department to force its way into the currency revamping process. …The group is not promoting a specific change that would help blind and sight-impaired Americans sift through their money, but hopes the government will study an array of options that would be helpful. A major step could be offering denominations in different colors or sizes with large-print features, like many other countries, [Ralph] Brunson said. Braille and textures also are possibilities, although the markings are prone to wearing off. ‘We did not specify a particular option because, primarily, at this point we’re trying to get the dialogue going,’ Brunson said.” (Mark Babineck, “Blind Group Sues U.S. over Currency”, AP/FindLaw, Jul. 1). (DURABLE LINK)

July 15 – New civil rights target: “linguistic profiling”. With assistance from a Ford Foundation grant, the National Fair Housing Alliance and Stanford education and linguistics professor Dr. John Baugh have launched a project “to study the impact of linguistic profiling on housing discrimination. This summer, Baugh will track the instances of bias that the housing markets show toward speakers of non-standard English over the telephone. Baugh says speakers who do not ’sound white’ often are discriminated against over the telephone. ‘Even though the courts are reasonably well equipped to prosecute cases of face-to-face discrimination,’ says Dr. Baugh, ‘they have a hard time understanding and applying the law to linguistic profiling, and that’s where this research will help.’” “National Study on Linguistic Profiling in Housing Announced”, Jun. 26)(via Scott Norvell, FoxNews.com, Jul. 1). (DURABLE LINK)

July 12-14 – Welcome Salon.com readers, Bill O’Reilly listeners. We’re cited in Janelle Brown’s excellent article on parental lawsuits against teachers (”L is for Lawsuit”, Jul. 12) which mentions our subpage on overlawyered schools. And our editor is appearing today (Fri.) on Bill O’Reilly’s popular radio show to discuss the case of a New York City jury’s award to a woman who lay down on the subway tracks (see Jun. 26-27), along with other cases featured on our personal- responsibility subpage. Update: and welcome BBC-5 listeners, for whom our editor taped an interview arising from the Salon piece (DURABLE LINK)

July 12-14 – Credibility up in smoke? Environmentalist groups have strenuously denied that their use of litigation to stall road building, logging and the construction of firebreaks worsened this year’s raging wildfires out West (see Jul. 1-2). But it turns out that a recent General Accounting Office report, much cited by the enviro groups to show that they don’t sue often, actually may show nothing of the sort. “Environmental appeals delayed 48 percent of the [Forest Service]’s fire-suppression projects in fiscal 2001 and 2002, thereby stalling efforts to clear the brush and small trees that fuel the catastrophic wildfires plaguing the West, according to an internal Forest Service report obtained by The Washington Times. The report, slated for release [Thursday], found that 155 of the agency’s 326 plans to log overgrown, high-risk national forests were stymied by appeals. In Arizona and New Mexico, sites of some of this summer’s worst wildfires, that figure rose to 73 percent, and climbed to 100 percent in the Pacific Northwest”. (Valeria Richardson, “Forest Service Says Activists Played Role in Fires,” Washington Times, Jul. 11; Kimberley A. Strassel, “Truth Under Fire “, Wall Street Journal/ OpinionJournal.com, Jul. 11). (& see letter to the editor, Oct. 23) (DURABLE LINK)

July 12-14 – Read the label, then ignore it if you like. “Two carpet installers who admit they read the label of an adhesive they used, admit they understood the adhesive was flammable and should not be used inside, used it inside anyway, caused an explosion, were burned badly, sued, and won $8 million dollars.” (Phil Trexler, “2 installers get millions in blast suit”, Akron Beacon Journal, Jul. 10) (link and description via MedPundit, Jul. 10). (DURABLE LINK)

July 12-14 – Financial scandals: legislate in haste. The “chief sponsor of the House [financial-reform] legislation, Republican Michael G. Oxley of Ohio … complained that some aspects of the Sarbanes bill appeared to be turning into ‘a gravy train’ for trial lawyers.” (Richard A. Oppel Jr., “Senate Backs Tough Measures to Punish Corporate Misdeeds”, New York Times, Jul. 11). House Republicans are particularly critical of provisions which, in line with a long-term goal of the plaintiff’s bar, increase the time permitted to bring securities fraud lawsuits. The Mobile Register editorially warns that a number of ideas emanating from the Senate “would be a huge boon to voracious plaintiffs’ attorneys. And the last thing the nervous stock market needs, now or ever, is to worry about companies being ruined by ever-more creative lawsuits whose practical effect would do far more to enrich the lawyers than to protect the interests of individual investors.” (”Bush right, Shelby not, on business reform” (editorial), Mobile Register, Jul. 10). “Robert Musil” has some thoughts on the newly popular idea of requiring CEOs to certify their company’s financial filings on penalty of perjury (Jul. 7). And before assuming that it was management malfeasance alone that destroyed the market value of such companies as WorldCom and Adelphia, it would be wise to note that Europe, without benefit of major scandal, has managed to see most of the value of its telecom stocks evaporate since the sectoral bubble burst, with historic enterprises like Deutsche Telekom, France Télécom and Royal KPN of the Netherlands losing 80 or 90 percent of their value, and Britain’s BT doing not much better (Edmund L. Andrews, “Europe Shares Pain of the Fall in Phone Stocks”, New York Times, Jul. 11). And see Steve Chapman, “Real and phony fixes for corporate corruption”, Chicago Tribune, Jul. 11). (DURABLE LINK)

July 12-14 – “Court Tosses ‘Sopranos’ Suit”. Following an appellate court’s ruling against them, the Italian-American Defense Association has dropped its suit against HBO charging that “The Sopranos” offends the dignity of Italian Americans in supposed violation of the Illinois Constitution’s “individual dignity” clause. Score one for free speech (N.Y. Daily News, Jul. 2)(see Apr. 6-8, 2001). (DURABLE LINK)

January 9-10 – Minimum GPA for study abroad said unfair to disabled. “A 19-year-old sophomore is suing Macalester College in St. Paul for discrimination and mental anguish because the school denied his application for a German study abroad program set to begin this month. Macalester officials told Colin Kennedy he was turned down for the program because he did not maintain a 2.5 grade-point average his first two semesters. … Kennedy claims depression prevented him from excelling at his studies during his first two semesters and that the school failed to make reasonable accommodations for his illness.” (Hannah Allam, “Macalester sued over denial of study abroad”, St. Paul Pioneer Press, Jan. 3). However, the U.S. Supreme Court has just dealt a blow to liberal interpretation of the ADA in the workplace, ruling unanimously that it does not entitle an employee to accommodation of a physical ailment that impairs her ability to do the job, unless the ailment also interferes with major life activities more generally (”Supreme Court limits disabilities law in unanimous decision”, CNN, Jan. 8; Warren Richey, “In workplace, tougher standard on job-related injuries”, Christian Science Monitor, Jan. 9; Charles Wolfe, “Toyota Suit Before High Court Raises ADA Issues for Business”, AP/Law.com, Nov. 7). “The justices are right,” says a Washington Post editorial (”Injuries and Disabilities”, Jan. 9). (DURABLE LINK)

January 9-10 – Updates. Further developments in possibly familiar controversies:

* In the litigation over Atlanta day-trader Mark Barton’s murderous 1999 rampage (see Dec. 5), a judge has dismissed the building owner, manager and security company as defendants, but let suits proceed for now at least against the two day-trading companies where Barton committed killings. (Trisha Renaud, “Suits Against Day-Trading Firms Survive Summary Judgment in Rampage Case”, Fulton County Daily Report, Dec. 10) (see update Dec. 19, 2003)

* On November 1 a court in New York City dismissed all remaining charges in the “cybersex” case against Columbia University student Oliver Jovanovic, bringing to a close one of the most controversial sexual-abuse prosecutions in recent years (see Dec. 23, 1999) and casting a shadow over the departure from the Manhattan D.A.’s office of celebrated prosecutor Linda Fairstein. The case is the latest to call in question the application of “rape shield” laws, which sometimes operate to exclude evidence highly probative of defendants’ innocence in cases of claimed sexual coercion (Cathy Young, “Excluded Evidence”, Reason, Feb.; Nat Hentoff, “Rashomon in the Bedroom”, Village Voice, Nov. 2 (mature content); defense site Cybercase.org).

* No sooner had the Pfizer company heaved a sigh of relief over a defense verdict in its first jury trial over recalled diabetic drug Rezulin (see Dec. 19) than it lost big in a second case: a Corpus Christi, Texas jury awarded $43 million in actual damages and the company quickly agreed to an undisclosed but presumably substantial settlement (Miriam Rozen, “Parties Settle Rezulin Case After Jury Awards $43 Million in Actuals”, Texas Lawyer, Jan. 2).

* In France, following a U.S.-imitative court decision allowing families to file “wrongful birth” damage suits on behalf of disabled children for violation of their “right not to have been born” (see Dec. 11), ob/gyns have responded by “refusing to carry out ultrasound scans on pregnant women … The protest action could have an impact on thousands of women.” (”Scan strike by French doctors”, BBC, Dec. 3).

January 9-10 – Fair is foul, and foul is fair. In a case where Philadelphia cops failed to prevent a schizophrenic from hurting himself, a few whispered lawyer incantations magically transmute a case of possible negligence into an “extreme and outrageous” instance of “intentional infliction of emotional distress”. (Lori Litchman, “Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress Claim Against Police Goes Forward”, Legal Intelligencer, Nov. 14). And the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania has ruled that “sudden” might actually mean “gradual”, in another of those pollution-insurance cases where that kind of stretch occurs so often. (Lori Litchman, “Supreme Court Ruling Deals Blow to Insurers Over Pollution Clause”, Oct. 22).

January 7-8 – Like father, like daughter? Illinois House Speaker Michael Madigan has for years been the chief guardian of trial lawyer interests in the state legislature. Now his daughter Lisa is running for attorney general of the state, and gathering in endorsements from such potentates as Chicago mayor Daley. (Fran Spielman, “Daley backs Madigan for attorney general”, Chicago Sun-Times, Jan. 4).

January 7-8 – “Slipping straight to the jury”. “Grocery stores around the country spend $450 million annually to defend slip-and-fall claims, according to the Bedford, Texas-based National Floor Safety Institute. … The average slip-and-fall claim nationwide is for $3,900, while the cost to litigate a lawsuit has reached $100,000, says Russ Kendzior, executive director of the institute. … Last month, however, the Florida Supreme Court dramatically changed the rules in ways that delighted the plaintiffs’ bar and infuriated the defense bar and business groups. In a unanimous ruling, the state’s high court rewrote the rules, dramatically shifting the burden of proof away from the plaintiff and onto the shoulders of the defendant. Now, if a customer takes a tumble, it’s up to the store to prove that it exercised reasonable care to keep its floors clean.” (Susan R. Miller, Miami Daily Business Review, Dec. 13). (Update Apr. 15, 2002: legislature partially undoes ruling.

January 7-8 – Defoliant litigation proves evergreen. “Seventeen years after a class action settlement intended to end lawsuits over Agent Orange, the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that two Vietnam veterans may sue companies that made the product.” (Bob Van Voris, “Agent Orange Suits Still Viable, 2nd Circuit Says”, National Law Journal, Dec. 12; Michael Fumento on Agent Orange).

January 7-8 – Canada: front-row spectator sues “reckless” exotic dancer. “A stripper and the bar where she worked are being sued by a man who claims the dancer kicked him in the face while he watched the show. Greg Bonnett of suburban Coquitlam, B.C., alleges he was enjoying the performance from a front-row seat at the Barnet Hotel in nearby Port Moody when the stripper swinging around a pole put her foot in his face.” Bonnett says he suffered a broken nose, blurred vision, headaches and difficulty breathing. (”Man says stripper kicked face, broke nose”, Canadian Press/azcentral.com, Nov. 28; Jay Nordlinger, “Impromptus”, National Review Online, Dec. 11 (next to last item)). More Canadian exotic dancer litigation: Aug. 14 and May 23, 2000.

January 4-6 – Welcome InstaPundit.com, AndrewSullivan.com readers. Two of the hottest webloggers around have included this site on their ongoing recommend lists: “all-powerful hit-king” Glenn Reynolds did it a week or two ago (see left column) and now we’re on Andrew Sullivan’s just-redesigned site (he says we offer “Peerless scrutiny of legal insanity.”). We’ll never be hungry for traffic again!

January 4-6 – Paroled prisoner: pay for not supervising me. From Canada: “The National Parole Board is facing a unique lawsuit over a crime committed by a paroled prisoner: a $1.6-million negligence claim from the criminal himself, who says he should never have been let go unsupervised. …’I feel the CSC and CSC parole are responsible for my every move while under their supervision,’ [Mark] Turner says in an affidavit filed in the Federal Court of Canada.” (Colin Freeze, “Paroled convict sues board over release”, Globe and Mail, Jan. 2) (via Damian Penny’s blog, which sports the motto: “You report. I decide.”)

January 4-6 – Memo to welfare commissioner: defy suit-happy activists. Mayor Mike Bloomberg’s new welfare chief, Verna Eggleston, faces a tall order trying to build on the successes of her Giuliani-era predecessor Jason Turner, writes Mickey Kaus. “She has to aggressively resist the demands of the city’s highly litigious ‘advocate’ community, which will pressure her to sign crippling consent decrees that effectively transfer power over the city to the ‘advocates.’ … ” (Kausfiles.com, Jan. 2 — see “Hit Parade”, left column)

January 4-6 – “Woman Wins Verdict, but no Money, Against Seagal”. Notable quote from action star Steven Seagal’s attorney after the case was over: “Just because you curse in the workplace doesn’t mean you should have to write a check.” (Reuters, Dec. 21).

January 4-6 – Mom wants to be sued. “Children have the right to sue their mothers over injuries caused by bad driving during pregnancy,” a Florida appellate court ruled. Talk about lawsuits that are collusive rather than genuinely adversarial: the mother herself is the one who’s been pushing for her daughter’s right to sue her, so that the family can get at the insurance money. (Catherine Wilson, “Judge: Miami girl can sue mom for injuries suffered as a fetus”, AP/Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, Dec. 19).

January 2-3 – Environmental lawsuits vs. military readiness. The high accuracy of American air and ground military targeting in Afghanistan is the result of “practice, practice, practice” over years of peacetime exercises at proving grounds and bombing ranges at home. But environmentalist lawsuits are increasingly tying up the armed services’ use of training grounds across the country, with the Vieques controversy just the most visible of many. Marine Corps Maj. Gen. Edward Hanlon Jr., commander at Camp Pendleton, warned Congress earlier this spring: “Our ability to train is being slowly eroded by encroachment on many fronts.” (Michelle Malkin, “Hostile Fire from Eco-’Extremists’”, syndicated/Capitalism Magazine, Dec. 11).

January 2-3 – “Hot-dog choking prompts lawsuit”. “The family of Kevin Rodriguez, a Coral Springs sixth-grader who choked to death on a hot dog, has filed a wrongful death lawsuit alleging the county School Board failed to serve him food that is safe to eat.” (Wanda J. DeMarzo & Daniel de Vise, Miami Herald, Dec. 28).

January 2-3 – Mass., Ill., NYC tobacco fees. “Despite having already received a record $178 million fee, a Boston law firm yesterday asked Suffolk Superior Court to force Massachusetts to pay it an additional $282 million for its work on the state’s suit against the tobacco companies.” Brown Rudnick Freed & Gesmer says it is entitled to collect on a 25 percent contingency deal, and points out that the suit when first dreamed up was considered virtually untenable, which they seem to think is something worth rewarding about it. (Frank Phillips, “Law firm asks court for more tobacco money”, Boston Globe, Dec. 28)(see Dec. 22, 1999). Illinois tobacco lawyers, who think their $121 million fee award isn’t enough and want another $800 million, have won a ruling from the state supreme court allowing their suit to proceed in a Cook County court and not in the state Court of Claims. (Chicago Sun-Times, “Judge will decide lawyers’ fees”, Dec. 4, no longer online) (see Oct. 16-17, 1999). And “a lawyer who is suffering from breast cancer sued her former firm, claiming the firm failed to pay her $1.7 million she earned representing New York City in its litigation against the tobacco industry. Janis L. Ettinger says New York’s Storch Amini & Munves told her she would not be paid further for her work because ’she could not realistically be a part of the future of Storch Amini by virtue of her illness.’” Private businesses have paid large sums under the Americans with Disabilities Act to settle claims that they have discriminated against employees suffering from grave illnesses. (Daniel Wise, “New York Lawyer Sues Firm Over Share of Tobacco Fees”, New York Law Journal, Nov. 6).

January 2-3 – The talk of Laconia. Un-neighborly doings in central New Hampshire, where local political activist Harriet E. Cady is suing store owner Bernard J. Salvador over his appearance at an August board of selectmen meeting of the town of Sanbornton. “Cady alleges Salvador made a statement in which he referred to her as a ‘lunatic,’ then read a letter against her. She said in his letter, which was published in some area newspapers, that he referred to her as ‘Little Hitler from Deerfield.’” So now she’s suing him for $1 million, saying the epithet had caused her emotional distress and damage to her reputation that “could have a cataclysmic effect on her ability to champion her political causes.” Cady has been involved in lawsuits against the town of Sanbornton in the past. (Gordon D. King, “Woman files $1m slander and libel suit”, Laconia Citizen, Dec. 12).

December 8-10 – Vicarious criminal liability? Suburban Detroit prosecutors are pressing charges of involuntary manslaughter against 49-year-old cook Terry Walker, who hails from the palindromically named town of Capac in Michigan’s rural Thumb. It seems Walker sold a chrome-plated 9mm semiautomatic gun to a friend without having the friend provide a purchase permit for it as required by law. The friend resold the weapon and it eventually wound up in the hands of Ljeka Juncaj of Sterling Heights, a stranger to Walker, who used it to kill a police officer in Warren while in custody following a drug arrest. “Macomb County Prosecutor Carl Marlinga said he hopes Walker will become the vessel for a lesson to gun owners by telling them that if they fail to properly sell a gun and it is used in a crime, that is as bad as committing the crime.” Outraged Capac townspeople think that idea is crazy, and are taking up a collection for Walker’s defense. (Kim North Shine, “Punishment of ex-owner debated”, Detroit Free Press, Dec. 7).

December 8-10 – Florida’s legal talent, before the Chad War. Wall Street Journal’s Collin Levey pulls together highlights from the pre-November legal careers of prominent Florida attorneys assisting Democrats in their postelectoral legal efforts. Dexter Douglass, “David Boies’s right hand”, had been among those who represented the state in the tobacco lawsuit; Henry Handler, who “brought suit against the butterfly ballot”, also had filed a class-action lawsuit against the Florida Marlins “on behalf of season-ticket holders who claimed the team injured them by ‘losing too much’”; Gregory Barnhart, who represented the Democratic National Committee in recount litigation, is past president of the Florida Trial Lawyers Association; and Harry Jacobs, who “launched the lawsuit to throw out 10,000 absentee ballots in Seminole County”, had fought a “high-profile war against Florida rules preventing lawyers from advertising on television (a k a electronic ambulance chasing).” (”Gore’s Bombastic Barristers”, Opinion Journal, Dec. 7).

December 8-10 – Sylph esteem. Krissy Keefer has filed the first case under San Francisco’s new law banning discrimination on the basis of height and weight, saying the prestigious San Francisco Ballet School rejected her 8-year-old daughter Fredrika as an applicant because it considered the girl’s size and shape inappropriate for a ballerina. The school says its purpose is to train professional dancers, not to provide recreation, and says it accepted only 29 percent of the 1,400 student applications it received last year (Edward Epstein, “Girl Fights For a Chance To Dance”, San Francisco Chronicle, Dec. 7).

December 8-10 – “Armstrong World Files for Chapter 11 Amid Battle With Asbestos Lawsuits”. The building and construction materials concern “tried a number of approaches to manage its asbestos liability, including negotiating broad-based solutions and supporting efforts to find a legislative resolution. But the number of cases filed and the cost to settle cases have continued to increase.” Lenders pulled the plug after the bankruptcy of Owens Corning earlier this fall made clear that even large companies that operate with success in unrelated businesses can face financial ruin if they sold asbestos-containing products decades ago (see Nov. 27, Oct. 6; DowJones/ CFO, Dec. 6; AP/MSNBC, Dec. 6; company site and bankruptcy news site).

December 8-10 – Welcome WorldNetDaily readers. We linked to and briefly excerpted Jon Splatz’s “LawyerClysm” article on Nov. 22, and the full version appears here. (Ralph R. Reiland, “Lawyered to death”, WorldNetDaily, Dec. 9). We also got a mention from Doug Camilli in his Montreal Gazette column on Thursday (Dec. 7) and were featured on Yahoo “Cool Links” as one of Leya’s “Surfer’s Picks” (now rotated off).

December 7 – Promising areas for suits. Among the National Law Journal’s annual roundup of hot new causes of action that lawyers are suing on: cases charging employers with breaking promises (which may be only “implied” promises) made in job interviews; injuries over foul balls and other hazards in sports stadiums, long barred by the (fast-shrinking) old doctrine of assumption of risk; suits against relatives for failing to prevent gun-related injuries; suits over workplace injury against consultants (HR, security) and other third parties who, unlike the direct employer, may not be able to invoke the litigation shield of workers’ comp laws; laser eye surgery complications; negligent failure to provide defibrillation equipment in public places; “[l]awsuits against owners, leasers and drivers of trucks over accidents caused by trucker fatigue”; suits against sports doctors; and claims against trade associations, such as the one that recently obtained an $11 million verdict against the National Spa and Pool Institute on an allegation that its voluntary standards for diving boards should have been more stringent (Margaret Cronin Fisk, “New Century, New Causes”, National Law Journal, Nov. 21).

December 7 – “Woman drops suit alleging she caught herpes from mannequin”. It now develops that Brenda Nelson (see Oct. 11) of Hammond, Ind. has consulted a second doctor and been told she does not have herpes after all, and she has accordingly dropped her suit against the American Red Cross alleging that she contracted the malady by pressing her lips to those of a first-aid mannequin, says her attorney, Jerry Jarrett. The executive director of the local Red Cross said he doubted the disease could have been transmitted in the claimed manner anyway: “‘Everyone here gets a separate mannequin. Nobody gets behind someone else in line. Staff and volunteers wash the mannequins down with warm, soapy water with a little bit of bleach in it after each class,” said the director, whose name is Wayne Wigglesworth. (AP/FindLaw, Dec. 5).

December 7 – No more “naughty”. Organizations that train and represent British nursery staff have put out the word that misbehaving tots are not to be called “naughty”, “bad boy”, “silly” or “stupid”, such terms amounting to stigma-laden “labeling”. Some nursery staff have also asked parents to avoid using the terms in correcting their own children. Others call it “political correctness gone mad”. (Martin Bentham, “‘Naughty’ is banned from the nursery”, Sunday Telegraph (London), Dec. 3).

December 7 – Trial lawyers vs. hog farms. Various lawyers active in tobacco and other mass litigation are filing nationally coordinated lawsuits against hog farms in seven states over their purported porcine pollution atrocities. An environmentalist group led by Robert Kennedy Jr., Water Keeper Alliance, will provide the media-friendly face for the effort. Fifteen law firms are kicking in $50,000 apiece to get the assault underway. (Philip Brasher, “Environmentalists Target Hog Farms”, AP/Los Angeles Times, Dec. 6). For more on hog farm litigation, see Sept. 12, 2000 and Oct. 4, 1999. And the New York Times reports today that the hog farm effort is expected to serve as the pilot case in a new alliance between environmental groups and leading trial lawyers, which will involve the filing of mass tort suits in an effort to wrest policymaking away from the Environmental Protection Agency and Congress, i.e., the units of government that have some occasion to consult the views of actual voters (Douglas Jehl, “Fearing a Bush Presidency, Groups Plan Pollution Suits”, New York Times (reg), Dec. 7). “In one court filing, the plaintiffs said that the cleanup [of North Carolina hog farms] would require restoration of 3.7 million acres of wetlands at a cost of no less than $40,000 an acre — or roughly $148 billion for these damages alone.” The major defendant in the case, Smithfield Foods, has a total market capitalization of almost exactly one-one-hundredth that sum, at $1.48 billion (Motley Fool profile, SFD). Update May 7, 2001: judge throws out first two suits; Apr. 15, 2002: RFK Jr. embarrasses himself in Iowa; Jul. 3-9, 2002: federal judge throws out suit and imposes sanctions on plaintiffs.

December 6 – You deserve a beak today. Okay, so Katherine Ortega of Newport News, Va. says she found a crispy chicken head in her order of McDonald’s fried chicken wings, and by now pictures of the handsomely breaded ornithological exhibit have been beamed round the world. But what are the damages? (Especially since Ortega didn’t eat the offending morsel, and people in other countries do eat chicken’s heads.) A local plaintiff’s injury lawyer, Stephen H. Pitler, told the Newport News paper: “It looks to me that there’s a legal wrong … people might be psychologically scarred for a very long time”. On the other hand, a liability defense lawyer said that it really wasn’t much of a case: “no more than a couple thousand dollars”, which by the standards of the U.S. legal system, you will understand, really counts as nothing at all. (Peter Dujardin, “Chicken-head incident has ruffled feathers”, Newport News (Va.) Daily Press, Nov. 30; David Koeppel, “You deserve a beak today”, FoxNews.com, Dec. 1). The Newport News paper added: “Some wondered how urbanized Americans have become so far removed from the process of killing what they eat that the mere sight of a natural piece of an animal – one that is consumed every day elsewhere in the world — could cause such emotional scarring.” Right on schedule, local TV station WVEC reports that the Ortegas have now hired an attorney; they’re refusing McDonald’s request to examine the object in question; and they “said their children now refuse to eat chicken and that their youngest child has had a nightmare about the fried chicken’s head.” (”Fried chicken’s head flies the coop”, WVEC-TV (Hampton Roads), Dec. 5; “Inspectors investigate fried chicken’s head”, Dec. 5).

December 6 – Bear market. New York Observer tells how Bear Stearns lost a nine-figure jury verdict to a wealthy investor who’d suffered major losses in his account, in a case that has other brokerages more than a little nervous (see June 9-11) (Landon Thomas Jr., “Meet the Great de Kwiatkowski, the Man Who Was Awarded $164 Million From Bear Stearns”, New York Observer, Nov. 13).

December 6 – Safer but less free. Three years ago Gail Atwater of Lago Vista, Tex. was arrested, handcuffed in front of her children and hauled off to jail for … non-seat-belt use. Now her case has reached the U.S. Supreme Court. (Amanda Onion, “Soccer Mom at Highest Court”, ABCNews.com, Dec. 1).

December 5 – California’s lucrative smog refunds. “Five law firms, including one that donated nearly a quarter-million dollars to the governor, will split $88.5 million in state taxpayer money for a lawsuit returning smog fees to residents who registered out-of-state vehicles in the 1