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Some of my best friends are lawyers(yes, really). I just wouldn’t want my daughter to marry one.

I’m a lawyer and this just sickens me. How about be kind and considerate to others in general?

ok so the website starts out…Lawyers in America get a lot of grief…just for being lawyers. Jokes are made about them and they consistently rank as one of the least respected professions on the planet. Yet, when regular people need help writing a will, running a business or avoiding jail time, who do they flock to? Lawyers! So my question is why do we “flock” to Lawyers for our legal needs ? Answer – to protect ourselves from other Lawyers & Judges (who for the most part are Lawyers)…I’ll participate when Lawyers agree to have a “Be Kind To The Party On The Other Side” Day. We have a Tax Free Day so why not a Legal Freedom Day ?? just think of it…just one day where no lawsuits are being filed, no answers to law suits, no discovery responses, depositions, trials or motions….sounds like a place we would all want to spend just one day in…who knows maybe we may like it so much we decide to stay??!!!

This has a better chance of catching on.

Black Day (April 14) is a South Korean informal tradition for single people (a.k.a. Unit Solo/Solo Regiment, lee: ????) to get together and eat Jajangmyeon (noodles with black bean sauce), sometimes a white sauce is mixed for those who did not celebrate White Day.

The idea is that those who did not give or receive gifts on Valentine’s Day (February 14) or White Day (March 14) can get together and eat Jajangmyeon (???), white Korean noodles with black bean sauce (hence the name), to commiserate their singledom.

What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

Skid marks before the snake, burn out marks before the lawyer.

@mojo: You’ll find skid marks in front of the snake.

Color me baffled, bemused and bewildered. As Brat M said above, we don’t go to lawyers ’cause we love them, we go ’cause we’re forced to. The image of a lawyer today is not of someone who advocates for the law or fairness or justice but of someone who is consulted primarily to find loopholes and wiggle room. Lawyers are brought in when one party wants to weasel out of a contract. Lawyers are helping deprive Minnesota of a second senator; not because there is a valid dispute over votes but because, by contesting the election to the bitter end, they can help the Republicans keep one more vote short of a 60 vote majority. Lawyers have strung out the proceedings in the SCO vs IBM litigation to the point where, when IBM wins, there will be nothing left to recover. Lawyers sued a family owned business over a missing pair of pants for $67 MILLION DOLLARS, fer cryin’ out loud.

Please explain again why we should be kind to lawyers… at all.

T. Hunt

There are only 1 or 2 lawyer jokes.

The rest are true stories.

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch – he couldn’t return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “One million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.”
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million. “I want to give a million to my family,” he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”
“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.
The lawyer replied, “If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer.”

(compliments of jakesjokes.com)

Sorry, overly tasteless comments are subject to removal, even if funny. Decision on what’s overly tasteless, and what’s just tasteless enough, are within the sole discretion of the moderators.

A Russian, a Cuban, an American, and a lawyer are on a boat. The Russian takes a bottle of vodka out of his bag and exclaims, “My country is famous for its vodka, and we have so much of it that we can afford to simply dump it in the sea!” And with that he throws the vodka overboard.
The Cuban takes out a cigar and exclaims, “My country is famous for its cigars, and we have so many of them that we can afford to simply dump them into the sea!” And he throws a box of cigars overboard.
The American regards the Russian and the Cuban, thinks for a moment, and then throws the lawyer overboard.

So what is wrong with April 1st. Much more appropriate

The lawyer replied, “If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer.”

Andthe joke is that the Lawyer bills the third Million as ‘Additional Billing Hours, Expenses and Secretrial Support”