Overlawyered: Chronicling The High Cost Of Our Legal System

Blistering black marble bench leads to suit against Dallas Cowboys

A Texas woman “is suing the Cowboys and team owner Jerry Jones for the third-degree burns she suffered on her buttocks after sitting on a black, marble bench at the Dallas Cowboys Stadium two years ago while waiting for the debut Blue & Silver scrimmage.” Her lawyer says she was burned through her clothing and required skin grafts: “I’m surprised there aren’t more reports of burn injuries from sitting on those dark, black benches.” [Fort Worth Star-Telegram, CBS D-FW]

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12 Comments

  • Sorry, just had to say “how many ways of stupid are there?” it’s Texas, she knows it gets darn hot in the summer here. She should get nothing for what is her own fault. If you sit on something and it’s hot, and you STAY there, whose fault is it?

  • It never crossed her mind to stand up when her butt started to hurt?

  • Can I sue if I lmao at this?

    • By Derek

  • Is this why today’s children don’t get to enjoy the metal slides that I used as a child in the late 80s?

    • By Sean P.

  • She burned her brain.

    • By Mannie

  • The law is a ass.

    Bob

  • […] alliteration just writes itself.  A big tip ‘o the hat to Overlawyered, who brings us the story of a woman suing the Dallas Cowboys because of the blistered butt she […]

  • Einstein said he’d just the “relativity of time” … by how fast he’d rise up if he sat down on a hot radiator.

    How come this woman didn’t stand up as soon as she sat down? Did she first fasten her seat belt, or something?

  • “How come this woman didn’t stand up as soon as she sat down? Did she first fasten her seat belt, or something?”

    No one said “Simon says” before “You can stand up.”

    .

    • By wfjag

  • People laugh. Case is worth >$100K.

  • Let me see if I’ve got this straight. She sat down on a black bench in 100 degree weather and got *third* degree burns? And didn’t know about it until later. I grew up in Tucson, AZ and have sat down on benches in 120 degree weather and not gotten any burn. Of course I got up only a few seconds later because my arse was on fire.

    1. This woman got a very severe burn from a bench that, in that weather, should barely have been hot enough to cause a mild 1st degree burn at worst, after a long period of contact.

    2. And she got it with, apparently, little to no discomfort. That means the bench was hot enough to kill tissue so fast that the nerves didn’t even have time to transmit pain. And it burnt so cleanly that none of the surrounding tissue was affected in any way.

  • Though I suppose she has a cas against the doctors. Either one group misdiagnosed a third degree burn as a first or the other a first as a third.

    Either way, I don’t see those as being easy to make mistakes.